I had an experience as a teacher during my 10-week practicum on October 13th that I will never forget. That morning, we got called into a staff meeting and told that a Grade 7 student had taken his life the night before. The room was full of tears, trauma, grief, shock, and agony and when the morning bell rang to start the day, I had no idea how we were going to move forward and be there for the kids and teach as if nothing was wrong and it was just a normal day. I was crying and shaking in the meeting but when the bell rang, I put on a mask on the way back to the classroom and told my coaching teacher that I could do this and to not worry because I had her students and she could go be with people and feel what she needed to feel. I had planned an SEL read-aloud for that morning called “Don’t Squeal Unless it’s a Big Deal” to specifically focus on helping students understand what is a little problem or a big problem, when it is important to tell and get help, and when something can be kept to yourself and doesn’t need a teacher, supervisor, or another adult involved. As I got to the class after letting the students in and looked at my plan, I realized this plan was no longer going to work. I could easily have completed the lesson as normal because my students were completely unaware of the tragedy that occurred. However, I immediately felt that I had to pivot because I knew what had happened and I was shocked, devastated, and in disbelief inside and the message of the lesson no longer mattered that day and would not be suitable for the climate within the school. I grabbed a different book from the shelf called “Picture Day Perfection” and gathered all the students on the carpet to read it together. Picture day had occurred that week so after the book was over, I asked them to draw a picture of what their perfect picture day would look like- what would they be wearing, what would their hair look like, what would the background look like, etc. I put on instrumental Taylor Swift music because my students had been begging for this type of music all week and we had one of the best mornings we had had together so far. My heart was breaking on the inside and every time I looked at each of their smiling and laughing faces but I did not let it show and put my best foot forward for the students. I made the right decision that day and kept the same routine for the students to maintain normalcy while also realizing that sometimes life gets in the way of the workings of the classroom and you have to be prepared to do what is needed when that happens. I felt like a real teacher that day and for many reasons, I will never forget the morning of October 13th.
