If I were to choose one word to describe my practicum experience at Harwin Elementary, it would have to be LIFE-CHANGING. I chose this word because I walked into this practicum knowing it was going to be difficult and challenging for various reasons- I hadn’t had a practicum experience in an inner city school yet so I was nervous to work with children who were vulnerable and would need a lot of extra social and emotional support. I was hoping I would be able to develop the relationships needed with the staff and students to create a mutually beneficial environment where students felt safe, loved, and were able to learn but I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to make that happen. In the end, I was able to create this environment for each and every one of my students but I was not prepared for the devastation, grief, and trauma that would occur along the way.

I learned in my first two practicums at Nukko Lake and Southridge just how important relationship building is with the students- learning does not occur without this piece and you also cannot manage the classroom to the best of your abilities as a teacher if the relationships, respect, and trust are missing. Because I did not have enough time to become a constant presence in the class and to build the culture of warmth, safety, and relationships I wanted to prior to the start of practicum, I only taught 50% of the time for the entire first week to soft launch myself as their teacher. This gave me the opportunity to walk around as my coaching teacher was teaching to provide help and support as needed and to get to know the students’ likes and interests so I could implement them into my lesson planning process. My second week of teaching went fairly smooth and I think this decision had a lot to do with the success I experienced.

In my third week of practicum on October 13th, Harwin experienced an unimaginable and devastating tragedy that shook the school to its core and made it so that everyone in the building would never be the same person again. We got called into a staff meeting that morning and were told that a grade 7 twelve year old student had taken his own life the night before. This student had a good family, good friends, a community of people around him and these facts left the staff feeling sad, agonized, traumatized, and in complete despair and disbelief. From weeks 3-7, I was sleepwalking through my practicum. I was sleeping so much but constantly tired, I was completely disconnected in all aspects of my life, and because of the trauma, I can’t remember one complete day that I taught from start to finish. Just when I would feel like I was getting my feet back under me and my spark for teaching and the students and the school again, a new piece of information would be released that would make the situation even more devastating and almost unbearable. I woke up every morning with a sinking feeling in my stomach because I didn’t understand how I was going to muster the energy and strength to go back to the school again. But, through all the trauma and adversity, I did it. I didn’t miss one day of practicum, I immersed myself and became a part of the school community even when it was hard, I leaned on the staff and let the staff lean on me, I developed amazing relationships with my students and coaching teacher, and I got my spark back in week 8 which made it so that leaving was devastating. Because of this experience, I know I will never be the same as both a teacher and a person and although it has been unimaginably difficult, I know I will be a better teacher because of what I had to endure.

Through all three practicums, there have been a few things that have stayed constant and I know have become part of my teacher identity

  1. Building relationships with the students and making the students feel safe, loved, like they belong and that the classroom is a safe space and a home away from home is one of the most important things to me as a teacher
  2. It is important to be adaptable as a teacher and to always be willing to change your plans and direction when things are not going the way you want them to or when students steer you in different directions- adapting is not weakness or failure, it is strength
  3. Ms. Slaney and Julianne are one and the same and not two separate people and identities- I laugh and joke with the students, I tell them about my life and listen when they tell me about theirs, I laugh off my mistakes and share that I make them too because mistakes are what make us human, and I am kind, caring, respectful, collected, and don’t take myself too seriously when I am teaching because those are qualities I treasure about myself outside of teaching
  4. It is important to get to know students and to incorporate students’ likes and interests in lessons
  5. Including Indigenous Ways of Knowing and Being of local First Nations, Inuit, and Metis people will be something that is always going to be important to me but that I will be working on and learning about throughout the entirety of my teaching profession

I would never have expected this practicum to go the way it did 10 weeks ago. I am working through it now but I know that I will be grateful for the experience in years to come. I can’t wait to see who I become as a teacher as I continue to grow in the profession.